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Looking for a place to fall asleep... Numbing me out.

It's bad enough, that the people I work with wants me to change everything: my looks, the way I dress, etc. (not that it's not good or anything), but my flesh and blood had to dictate to me who should I fall in love with. The last time she did that, it made me clean a mess that wasn't mine. Where's the guy now? Married. With a family of his own. Me? Still here and pretty much broken. Can't my own sister be happy for me for once? I'm always happy for her whenever she finds her love. But with me? No one is good enough. It's either he's not good-looking enough or something. And even if she wanted someone for me, would it be the same time as the last one? Another who will slip through my fingers. I wanted a life of my own, different from hers. I've been wanting to go to law school and medicine school, but she's been telling me that it won't mean a thing when I get married. At least, for me I know I have a back-up, a dream and more importantly: a life. The new one she wants for me, is not that bad. I get along with him and his entire family. They're great, no dull moments, like mine. But like I said, the last time she dictated who I should like, was one of my darkest moments. Nights when I hug myself tight and rock myself to sleep while crying. Trying to forget and numb the pain out.

Sleep is the only solution to take away the pain. And every time I wake up, I keep on wondering what kind of new scar will it bring to me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
January 8, 2010 at 1:34 PM
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