Skip to main content


Showing posts from May, 2007


sometimes i wish that it were someone else, instead of the long wait. someone around. tears run dry from eyes, wishing amongst the stars when orion can be seen in the moonlit sky.

just like rain, my tears fall like torrents.

all my questions are being answered, as if to keep me from asking. sometimes i wish it were so, but no. i tried praying for these feelings to go away, but they stay. i want to break down and cry, but i am frozen. i keep on asking if it were possible to be with someone else, so my heart won't bleed. but the feelings stay.

i don't know if because of the distance, my faith is waning. i pray that everything would be fine, a closure and an answer. a medicine that would heal a broken heart that longs for.

if only i could see those eyes looking at the sky by the bay. how i long to hear the voice that tells me to play by ear not by heart. the heart that comforts me when i needed someone to be there for me when bruises appear on my arms.

if only...


They say love comes in all shapes and sizes. They even come in a box, gift-wrapped and given to you. Or, a package, left on your doorstep the previous night. When you wake up to get your morning newspaper on your front door, it's there. Waiting for you to open it. Once you open it, it's just full of surprises. Or it's an e-mail or a person you've known for two years but didn't have the guts to tell to (after all, you're 'just friends).

Whoever you go out with is crucial, top of the food chain. When you're meant to be, no matter what happens you will always end up with each other. But what if the one you love, loves someone else? Someone from the past?

I learned from a friend of mine; if you're going to be married, get two houses. In that way if you get angry with each other, either you or you're husband will move to the other house. That way you know where he'll be. It's going to be frustrating to know that at some point this person from …


i tried to move on and pretend that there are no tears falling down from my eyes. but it seems like i can't run away from the painful scars in my heart.

each step is painful, like walking on broken glass. each tear is a symbol of loneliness. pain. sorrow.
blood stains the shattered image of my soul, in a mirror of desire. a scarred heart that sheds tears of blood.

in sorrow, their is solace.

in my solitude, there are tears.

in my sleep, there are floating dreams of emptiness. barren and unforgiven. i see myself a shattered and lost soul amongst the ruins of a former self.

still waters

i see my reflection in a bitter cesspool of tears...

broken, shattered

a lost self among the ruins of a former self.

looking. searching.

i couldn't see my reflection. there's a void.

a space.

that can never be filled in.


they say that when you've met the person that would change your life forever, time becomes frozen. you're not aware of what's happening around you. the coldness of the air, the kids running past you, or the car that just swerved around the corner. you just stare itently. studying the eyes, smile, how that person smells. life begins to have more meaning.

they say that when you suddenly thought of the person, even though the person's a million miles away, that person is thinking of you too. how many more countless hours that person could spend with you. how time seems like a flash when you're with that person.

but when that person's gone, life becomes empty. time's so slow, never moving forward. just still. you begin to think of giving your love to someone you can never give your heart to. you become numb. your idea of a friday night is just sitting on the couch watching anything that's on tv. or you just rock yourself to sleep hoping that the pain will en…

eyes amongst the stars...

you pretend like nothing's wrong. everything is fine. but it's not.

you cry in silence and sit in a corner, and when someone comes around and asks you if you're okay, you say you are. even if you're heart is being ripped into a million pieces, fed to the sharks or thrown out to space to be placed amongst the stars in the galaxy. staring at orion's belt amongst other constellations, i can't help but remember those ojos that speak. they tell me of sadness, and happiness. the corazon that spoke thru those ojos, when orion can be seen in the moonlit sky.

how i longed to see those ojos. if only for a second. if i could only hear your voice. but now, my ojos silently weeps for an empty space that could no longer be filled. like a void in space that only time and space could fill.

how i long for yesterday that would never see today... i woke up on the wrong side of the bed, because the other side is empty. time-bound elements drifting somewhere over the bay. connected …

echoes in my head...

i hear voices in my head... not the crazy kind like i have to do something evil. it's more of something that i have to do as a self-accomplishment. like what's next on my life list? or what to watch next on TV..... normal things that sometimes or most of the times gets out of hand.

you like someone, but that someone has a commitment. and when that someone likes you back, you're no longer there? annoying right? you go into self-pity thinking of the things that might have gone wrong in the process. then you suddenly decide: hey, why not go for someone else? but that's the someone you could never like, like the one before him or her. as insane as it might sound, just like what's going thru my brain thru a dozen synapses, exploration might be the answer.... and then you wake up the next morning sleeping with the wrong guy!!!! as if vanity matters? some would say: yeah right!! it matters a lot... you have to go out with someone crucial, top of the food chain. i read so…

another ordinary day... or so i thought

we tend to see things, a little bit off-hand. we ignore things that are just right in front of us. most of us go thru a vicious cycle called a schedule. an uncalled for and erratic time that holds our very existence. and as i go thru such so-called schedule, i thought it was just another ordinary day... not. people began to leave like water from a running faucet. memories, began to fade and move like the hands of a clock. things began missing, like waves that vanish beyond the dark blue waters of the ocean. at some vantage point, i thought that it was to my liking. but it wasn't. a bottomless pit of bittersweet tears. reading thru letters from a friend made me realize that i am not just a part of society. a so-called society that binds me by rules. rules, that some might find, uncalled for, but really, its one of those so-called perfect existence. a world, where things go accordingly. but of course, another day another, time-bound self with no self-pity whatsoever. looking at an emp…