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Showing posts from June, 2008


The grass surrounding me were slowly dying. It was the beginning of a barren wasteland. But as I slowly walk amongst the grassland that surrounded me, I felt a racking pain on my lower back. It was so painful that I could not move. I began seeing darkness. Everything around me was turning black. The grass so green, turned into gray. The sky that held the clouds and the sun, was turning into gray. I slowly fell towards the earth.

As I was about to close my eyes, for the last time, someone held my hand. He looked towards the sky, and carried me up towards the heavens.

Upon reaching the skies, I awoke. He held my hand and inserted a ring on my ring finger on the left hand. I looked at my clothes, and instead of denim, shirt and rubber shoes, I was wearing a long white gown instead. I was also wearing white shoes. But my eyes, they were the color green. I looked into his eyes and then we kissed...

I opened my eyes again and I was staring at my computer terminal.

What happened?

...for now

I look out my window and I see the rain fall on the ground. Thunder could be heard a few distances away. I see my reflection on the windowpane, a reflection that misses a smile. How I wish I could see the sunshine, but the rain is another weather that I appreciate as well. When I am reminded of how you smile, I catch myself in the mirror, smiling. You make me feel safe, even if I cannot see you right now.

Asking me how am I, makes me feel so warm all over. A warmth that splashes around me, even when it's raining and cold outside. Hopefully the phrase: Dovrei dire addio, e'l unica cosa da fare... does not apply to us. For my tears, like the rain, will fall like torrents from the skies. Except, they will fall from eyes and will be soaked-up by the ground. The words by Neruda rings true for me:

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist…

...As you walk past me

As I stare at the faded photograph on my hand, I see a once lost soul. Looking for something that wasn't there. The smile wasn't real. The pain was in fact, as real and as crystal clear as the water in a sea that holds a lot of memories. I again look at the photograph. I try to wipe away the tears that silently flows down from my eyes. Escaping another to give way for the other.

I look at the grass, so green that I could smell the scent of dew drops in the morning. I also catch a glimpse of someone waving hello to me and asking how I was. How my heart leaps fast as I see you smiling at me and letting me know that everything is fine. I have been seeing you for the past few days now. I have been expecting a visitor that never knocks on my door, yet you, grace my door with your presence.

I see you wave your hand to say hi, and walk away smiling, letting me know, that tomorrow is another day for me to wait for. A hope, that I trust would bring me more smiles than frown.