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awaiting fate


for the past few days, my mind has been a total mix-up...


my sister and her classmate, kuya det, told me an interesting story about my "so-called prediction" of their other classmate, winston-san. when i made that "so-called prediction" i was merely anchoring it on my observation of winston-san. i had no full intentions of it happening for real.


it began with their class presentation in Jap class. it was a cute and classic remake of Battle Royale, a famous Japanese film. while i was watching the film with my sister, i made an observation. a flash, even i couldn't control beyond my slightest notion. then we watched 300 by Frank Miller at the theatres, which kinda made it more "obvious" with my observations. i met winston-san for the first time and the "flash" made me see who he was. something, even i, can't control. and then he wrote a blog about it.


honestly, i hate doing "it" anymore. i keep on losing people. people that matters most to me. i lost someone last december because of "it". and when i stopped doing "it", i gained someone in return. i do not want to lose this someone as well. and because i do not practice "it" anymore, the one i lost last december, is back again in my life.


i'm like lincoln burrows from prison break, awaiting his fate. a fate that i somehow sealed. but even if i sealed it, i'm half excited, half scared by the notion of such fate. why? because i have been hearing two sides of the story. a story that tells both the sadness and the happiness that lies beyond such fate.


sometimes i wish it were not so, but no. i wish it was over, but it's not. try to make things right, erase every single detail...


i just pray i find the closure i am looking for.


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