journey on dark waters

My Dearest, Words are not enough for me to tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life. I wasn't suppose to let you in. I've been hurt so many times that I didn't want another pain to come in. Before I met you, someone tried to hurt me physically for the second time. Leaving me damaged in so many ways. I didn't want to come out of my house, I was traumatized enough to leave the house wearing a mask to hide myself from the world. Night after night I would cry myself to sleep, losing hope that no one would accept the scarred self that I am. I would lock myself inside the library until it closes and then I would go home unnoticed. But then you came. An answer to a prayer. I wasn't expecting on meeting you at all. I just randomly saw your photo on my brother's wall, and I totally forgot the next day who you were not until they reminded me constantly and until we became friends. When you were introduced to me and we got the chance to talk, I didn't wan...

I've been to the tech stores lately and guess what?! The new Nexus 6P just outsmarted most of the phones out on the market... Here are a few great (did I just say great?!) reasons why you should love the New Nexus 6P: 1) It's a low-light loving, powerful camera! Need I say more? Other mobile phones, just like a DSLR would look for light just so that they can capture THAT special moment, but not the Nexus 6P. 2) It has a cool iconic hardware design, sexy, and chic. If you're conscious about the look, the Nexus 6P boasts a really nice body to boot :) And having the aluminum body gives it a more better grip when you touch the phone. 3) It has an ergonomic fingerprint ID that boasts a unique security feature for the Nexus 6P and a way to actually wake up your phone, pretty neat! The fingerprint ID will only respond to your fingerprint and it's easier to access too. 4) For an eargasmic experience, the front face speakers are the bomb!!! The Nexus 6P ...

For those who want something masarap, masustansya at kayang-kaya, here's a healthy recipe for those who are watching their calories. You will need the following: Purefoods Crisp 'n Juicy Chicken Breast Nuggets Nuggets Stalk of spinach Tomato Onion (white) Garlic Cream cheese (any brand) All-purpose cream Piknik Here's how you do it: 1) Mince the garlic, dice the onion and tomato, then set aside 2) Chop the spinach into thin strips, set aside 3) Saute the onion first, and then the garlic, tomato in 1 tsp of butter, until onion becomes transparent 4) Add salt or flavor, then the spinach.  5) Add the all purpose cream, and bring to a simmer for 10 minutes 6) Melt the cream cheese in with the cream, and simmer for another 10 minutes, set the sauce aside 7) Fry the nuggets for about 8 minutes until golden brown 8) Serve and enjoy with the sauce!  Enjoy the dish either with bread, or rice :) 

To my Stalker, Yes you who are reading this post of mine. I still know you read my blog and you still take time to follow my posts on all the social media sites I have. You still take time to look in your phone and compose a message which I know you think twice before sending to me. Do us all a favor and just stop. Delete my number. Delete our numbers. Don't bother us anymore. You know who I'm talking about. Unfriend Alex Kang, unfriend all the Koreans you have on your friends list and all those you stalk. You are not doing anything good by continuing to do what you're not supposed to do. Don't you know that you're violating a law? Do us all a favor and delete us from your phonebook, stop stalking us and unfriend all the Koreans you added especially Alex. This is not a request this is an order. Do us all a favor and have yourself committed to a mental institution. You're doing more harm than good and it's not helping. Did you know you destroyed all of our ...

If I were to sum up what has happened to me in a year's time, I would say it had been an emotional roller coaster ride. Not only was it a test of faith on my part, but also of how I would deal with it psychologically. You can even say I was stupid enough to have made the mistake I made, to which I didn't have a choice at all. I'm known by most of my colleagues and friends not only as a law student but also as a professor in a university teaching Psychology and Constitution with Political Science. Both are subjects that deals with logic, science and has to be given a serious note as well. But that was questioned last year. I was having dreams I for one cannot explain myself. It was around April to May of 2014, the year of Centennial celebration to the congregation where I belong and my dad is a minister. It was a little boy, around two to three years old. He was sitting beside me in a worship service my dad was officiating. At first he was fidgeting and then he saw dad stoo...

This song touched my heart and keeps me hopeful for great things ahead... I keep in heart that faith and love indeed will keep us strong. I love the part which sang: There's a place out there for us More than just a prayer or anything you've ever dreamed of. So when you feel like giving up Cause you don't fit in down here Fear is crashing in, close your eyes and take my hand yeah. We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe. It's written in the stars that shine above A world where you and I belong Where faith and love will keep us strong Exactly who we are is just enough There's a place for us, there's a place for us. Happy listening :) hope it inspires you the way it inspired me

"Morning mommy!" Nicola kissed me on the right cheek. I was still in bed, lounging for a couple of more minutes since I slept late last night ironing and cleaning up last minute stuffs.  "Mommy, daddy and I made you breakfast," added Nicola with this huge grin on her face. "Good morning Mahal... Breakfast is served," it was my husband, holding out the tray full of goodies. "A very morning to you too!" and I kissed them both. It's been our morning tradition to greet each other 'A Very Good morning', our way of greeting each other Good morning. As I slowly ate the toast and eggs, Nicola chimed, "Mommy, grandma and grandpa are coming today. With lolo dad and lola mom. Are we going somewhere special po?" "I believe so sweet munchkin. Mahal, what time is it?" I asked. "It's close to 8 am Mahal. We're going to attend a special worship service, a wedding later. We're included in the invite. Papa...

I am uploading a video of one of the weddings that I have attended. It continues to inspire me that God indeed has a promise for me and it also inspires me that things will turn out well for me and whom God has sent in my life... Hope this video inspires those who will come upon it the way it has inspired me. My dad told me to continue to pray and patiently await God's love and blessings... and so I do. :)

Like the millions of people around the globe, I too, watch countless courtroom dramas and TV shows that were inspired by many battles inside the courthouse. We even watch it on television, a woman begging for justice in front of the police officer, or even a lawyer defending a client who have forgotten his own identity and can make out fragments of his memory. But television has not prepared me for what really happens inside the four walls of a courtroom. Part of my obligations as a student studying the laws of the land, one of the requisites I have to fulfill in partial requirement to the subject is to attend court hearings. Sessions that usually start as early as 8 in the morning and end around lunch time. Resuming again at two or even resetting for another time. When I walked into the halls of the Courts of Justice, I thought that today might be the same as all the hearings I have sat into before. But today was different. Even the prosecutor and the judge presiding was but happy t...

For commuters who are always on the go, may it be on their way to work or just someplace else, you will always be stuck during the MRT rush hours. Admit it, you have been stuck in the middle or almost near the doors trying to squeeze in the little space as much as you can. For most, riding the MRT during rush hours can be tiresome, painful, even agonizing the least. But may I ask you this, is it worth riding through it? Admittedly, (modesty aside), it's worth riding the rush hour. Sometimes, I don't mind squeezing in and trying to beat the traffic, or trying to get where I am suppose to be. Riding the MRT during rush hours has its perks actually. One, you can take advantage of the moment and offer a bit of kindness to those who will be joining you in the MRT coach, either by offering them a smile or giving them the space they need to squeeze in to. You never know, that smile and kindness can even change someone's day. More often, I always think that riding the MRT is wor...

If I were to correct something in my past to save the future, it would be to take a different path where I am now. It would be to go directly to medicine school and save my bleak legal career now. True, not all pasts are worth correcting, but this is one past I would go back for and try to change.  Now, who's with me for a better change?

Everyday, to me, is a learning experience. The people I meet, the things I see, feel, hear or even experience. In my heart, I am happy to say, that I have been privileged to coach a team. Not just any team, but a football team. Football is teamwork. One cannot make a goal withoout the help of another player. Each kick, chest catch, head-butt or ball control is a well-calculated team effort. Although I am a seasoned player, I still learn from the team I helped coach this semester. They continuously remind me to remain grounded. They also continue to teach me to respect each and everyone. That each player is unique and different. No player should be ignored. Everyone should be remembered. Even if they are not the best player on the team, they're still entitled to respect. Even if they can't kick well, or can't catch the ball well, they have to be respected. Without them, a team is nothing. As an assistant coach, I got to know the players more. What they like, what they don...

Who says I am lazy? Being lazy isn't an excuse for things not to be done by yours truly. I have one reason and one reason only: I am busy. Everyday all of us rush to do things or get somewhere fast. And if someone stops you on your tracks and tell you you're lazy or not doing what you're being asked to do, simply put: YOU'RE BUSY, therefore, YOU PROCRASTINATE. What exactly is PROCRASTINATION ? According to Wikipedia, procrastination refers to the act of replacing high priority actions with tasks of low priority, thus, putting off important tasks to a later time. BUT... is it HEALTHY ? I think procrastinating is healthy in terms of being done once, but not always. So again, am I PROCRASTINATING ? Technically no. I am just BUSY .

I have delayed this post for 2 reasons: 1) I have recently bought the gadget (iPad); and 2) I waited for the release of the reviews about said gadgets. A lot of people have talked about the iPad and reviews came out about it being the hip and in gadget that's a must-have for gadget enthusiasts out there. Even Apple has promised that after the 1st gen of the iPad, the iPad 2 will come in the market right away. I am currently a proud owner of one of the last batches from the 1st generation of the iPad. Like all iPad users, I am also satisfied with my gadget. It has helped me with my coursework and my homework. I have loaded it with my favorite mp3s to which the iPad has never failed to give me (or the other users) crystal clear quality of sound. Even the movies and clips I download via YouTube: fantastic! Though the file is of mp4 format, it's like watching it in HD. Apps are very useful and it has never failed to entertain me (even my family is using it). In short, iPad has sur...

There is no doubt that at the start of this year, my life (though marked as the year known as the QLS or more commonly known as the Quarter-Life Crisis stage) began with a lot of blessings. I am beginning to understand why everyone has been calling it the Quarter-Life Crisis stage. This is the time where you begin to see the picture a bit clearer than before. Somehow, things that I thought was right, suddenly seemed wrong. Things that I used to believe in, where false. To begin with, I left my job of seven years to be a full-time student. Someone once told me that instead of going forward I moved backward. That I should've stayed with my work and continued on with my studies. For one, I missed the last three years of my college life. The time where I should be enjoying the challenges in class, the academic life that most of the student spent their college years bumming around while waiting for the next class to start, I spent running to and fro work. I had to run to get to my next ...

I thought it was over. That the memories from my past won't give me nightmares anymore. It made me calm for the past four years. Four quiet years that helped me heal. I've dealt with almost killing myself, to overdosing myself with alcohol. To trying to kill my lungs with nicotine till I could barely breathe. But who was I kidding? I was only giving myself a slow and painful death. But what was I to do? I tried all sorts of remedies. But to no avail. I am tired. Tired of how things are going. Then suddenly, after four quiet years, I receive an email about this person who used to haunt my dreams till I could force myself to close my eyes at night. And now, this dream haunts me yet again. And now, I could barely keep myself awake. For I am afraid it might haunt me in my sleep. Why can't it be over? Right now its being replaced by someone new. Yet, again, the same waltz is playing. Dragging on and on. When will it end? I am plagued by the nightmares that barely reaches my inne...

We make them. Great, small, huge, tiny, damaging, and whatever else you might call it. Sometimes, we do it intentionally, and most of the times unintentional. This year, I have made quite a few mistakes in my life that cannot be rectified nor erased. But I do not regret making them or having them in my life. I had the biggest epic fail in my entire educational life. And it was all because of a few errors. I tried to go against the flow and tried to prove once and for all, falling in love doesn't have to be dictated or it's free like the river. You may like whoever you want to like, go out with that person and try to defy gravity. But it has a price. An inevitable expensive price you pay later on. Like a credit card, it will accumulate and will send you a letter indicating that you have to pay as soon as possible. Painful isn't it? I wanted to prove everyone else, by talking, hanging out, or even seeing this person, that love was right, meant to be. But no. Because it was ag...

There are a lot of ways to show courage. Some may show it when they are already in the face of danger. Some muster their courage when they are about to tell someone that they love them after all these years. But being courageous also meant, you are willing to admit you're sorry. I have never seen my father so disappointed with me. I admit, it was my fault, when I actually said something I wasn't suppose to say in the first place. My actions were miscalculated and my words out of bounds. On the ride back to work, it took me 15 minutes. 15 MINUTES!!! To muster the courage to say sorry. Sorry that I went out of line. But my dad, like all fathers, hugged me back and said it was okay, that what I did, happened for a reason. I could only respond with tears in my eyes. As I write this, tears are still falling. I am courageous enough to cry even though when I am already beyond my age, but I am still sorry for not being courageous enough to tell my father how deeply sorry I was. 15 minu...

The other day, hours before the concert of the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra began, I wandered off through the floors of the Cultural Center of the Philippines. I was in awe as I walked along the paintings lining the walls of the building. Studying each stroke, each hue, I found myself lost amongst the colors that struck a chord in my heart. I ask myself, what was the artist feeling when he painted this piece? After looking at the paintings I went one floor up where the museum was. It was a place where one could find his or her roots. Looking at the pieces from behind glass cases, I was amazed at how our country has so many riches to impart to us. But sadly, our generation has forgotten. Gone are the days when one would use the gamelan and the gongs to produce music, or the gitara or the rondalla. Now its rock music here, sentimental music there, pop music everywhere. Our traditional music, almost gone with the changing times. A few more steps and I was in a place where folk dances...

We all have our different tastes... A different take on clothes, gadgets, books and even food. That includes desserts. Like most of the Filipinos, I grew up to be a Goldilocks kid. My birthday cakes would come from Goldilocks and even that irresistible polvoron and caramel popcorn. When there are times I would feel down and out, I will grab my bag and wallet and catch a jeep going to SM North where the Goldilocks store would greet me at the entrance. Katulad din ng nakararami, I too, underwent a change... a pagbabago. When I was in college, I was the shy-type, not really minding my looks and how I walk. And it was in this period where I met a man whom I thought would be my mate for an entire lifetime. He was cool, good-looking and confident. He complimented my simplicity as something to his style. Little did I know, he had a dark side to his "somewhat-saintly ways". He began abusing me, both physically and emotionally. When we both separated ways after the incident, I underw...