Skip to main content

...walking alone a lonely road

As I write this I listen to a song that I hope someday would be sung to me. I ask myself, when will it happen? I wonder when someone will really have the courage to ask my father and ask for his flower and give her a bouquet. I also wonder if someday, someone will ask for me, my father's princess and make me his queen? I don't want to sound jealous, but I do envy my older sister. She could get everything she could want when it comes to guys. People would be telling me how lucky I could be or the guy. But where is he? Why is he blinded by material things or superficial elements that make up a girl?

Every time I hear someone liking me, I ask myself when will he have the guts to just ask and tell me himself instead of someone telling me instead? Does he have any idea how painful it could be for me? To be lied and joked or played with? I am not a toy. I am also a human being. I have feelings too.

Last night, I had the most meaningful conversation with a friend. Talking about this with other people, will only lead you to disappointment. No one would understand. You may ramble and rant on, but they would only tell you what they know. They will pretend to listen, but won't really pay attention. This pushes you to the edge, without them realizing it.

Sometimes I wished that years ago, I should've died as planned. But for some Divine Intervention, I didn't. I ask myself so many times why? It would've been better that way. Instead of reliving this pain I am going through.

I've had enough.

"Is this the moment, when I look you in the eye? Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry..."- Permanent, David Cook

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Unsent Letter

Dear Noah, I am writing to you, not because I have to, but I need to. In my heart there are so many things I wanted to tell you but my lips are frozen, and I could only whisper those words in this letter that I am writing. I know you will never get tired of me saying this, but, I have never regretted my decision of coming back to see you after so long. I missed our long talks, the way you teach me how to speak in another language through your poems. But what I really miss, is how you say hi and ask how am I. Everyone asked me, especially the ones who were close to me, why I came back to you, instead of going with the other? I never explained. Simply because, they would never understand, that the feelings between us were special. They would always think of our past as a memory of a time spent together. But to me, it will always be special. I have always dreamed of our time together as perfect. People may say, that I have wasted my time, going back and looking back at a love once lost....

Who is your Super ONE and why?

My Super ONE is my Grandma... Right now, she's residing at the Land Down Under with my other uncles and aunts. This photo, which was taken around May of last year was a photo of me and my Nanay (as we fondly call her) 24 years after she migrated to Australia. She came to visit us last year and announced upon her arrival: "Apo, let's go to South Korea! I want to see where they shoot Winter Sonata!" After that epic trip to Seoul, Nanay still calls us every now and then and writes to us. And would you believe at the age of 82 she surfs the internet? After our youngest sister taught her how, Nanay couldn't get off the net! I just wish she's here right now... I miss spending midnights with her watching her Koreanovellas and her war time stories (she survived both the 2 World Wars). The good thing is, Globe recently launched Super One ... this is a sure way for me and Nanay to still stay connected despite the distance and time difference.

Chapter 2: A dip in hot springs, a taste of sweet pie and trip back in History and Childhood

Wading in a pool of hot springs will not only bring warmth to your body but will also make you feel a s if you could just wade in for long hours to release the tensions in your body. A dip made me feel so relieved and it made me fe el like I'm in a spa. And of course, my cellphone took a dip in as well. :D After a morning dip in the pool, we headed to t he Universi ty of the Philippines in Los Banos, Laguna. We took a trip up the Makiling route to see the famed National Arts Center, b uilt during the Marcos regime. It was a breathtaking nature trip and we saw Mother Nature in all its glory. From the National Arts Center, we went to Lumban, Laguna, which is famous for its barongs. It was a fashion art, it may cost a lot, but its a work of art. His tory was made in Laguna, when Dr. Jose Rizal, grew up from this place. His house is located in Calamba, and a museum was built in his honor . Artifacts from his era, were copied to make a reconstruction of the house where he once grew up....