There are things that we wish for, but cannot have. We also ask ourselves if we need a savior or we don't need to be saved. Sometimes I just want to run away, and never come back. I just want to grab the keys of our car and drive away, somewhere far. Never looking back.
I see the eyes I long to see, but they only made me cry. I ask myself: "Do I hold on? Or do I let go? Should I follow a path that was never mine? Or should I go on treading a road which holds a lot of things unknown to me?"
In their eyes I have erred. In their eyes, I have betrayed them. But they will never know what's inside my heart. My grave awaits me, for they have dug it for me. Even if I see their heads hanging in a noose, they still think I am the traitor. I've forgiven them, even if they haven't forgiven me. I just pray that they find it in their hearts to forgive me, even if I haven't sinned. But who am I to discuss the good and the evil, when I am the suffering middle?
I walk on lands that have pretended to embrace my every step. I don't know what is right or wrong nowadays. I don't know what to believe anymore. I am not sure if I still belong in a world that I do not know. I don't know if I am still worthy of the calling that was made for me. Sometimes, I just want to believe something that wasn't there. I guess, my beliefs were wrong. I don't know if I still deserve to stay where I am.
I also don't know whether I should hold on to someone who was never there. Should I stay or leave? Should I say my goodbyes and be free? Or should I keep my vows and forever be incarcerated to a promise that was meant to be broken? I am tired of being lied to and I am sick of waiting in vain.
Should I continue on living? Or should I pass on to the next?
I see the eyes I long to see, but they only made me cry. I ask myself: "Do I hold on? Or do I let go? Should I follow a path that was never mine? Or should I go on treading a road which holds a lot of things unknown to me?"
In their eyes I have erred. In their eyes, I have betrayed them. But they will never know what's inside my heart. My grave awaits me, for they have dug it for me. Even if I see their heads hanging in a noose, they still think I am the traitor. I've forgiven them, even if they haven't forgiven me. I just pray that they find it in their hearts to forgive me, even if I haven't sinned. But who am I to discuss the good and the evil, when I am the suffering middle?
I walk on lands that have pretended to embrace my every step. I don't know what is right or wrong nowadays. I don't know what to believe anymore. I am not sure if I still belong in a world that I do not know. I don't know if I am still worthy of the calling that was made for me. Sometimes, I just want to believe something that wasn't there. I guess, my beliefs were wrong. I don't know if I still deserve to stay where I am.
I also don't know whether I should hold on to someone who was never there. Should I stay or leave? Should I say my goodbyes and be free? Or should I keep my vows and forever be incarcerated to a promise that was meant to be broken? I am tired of being lied to and I am sick of waiting in vain.
Should I continue on living? Or should I pass on to the next?
Comments
You may consider stopping lurking in those dark waters. Try being searched in clear ones. And I am sure that they will come. Because...you are young, sweet and smart.
Take care.