journey on dark waters

Maybe I was wrong. I may have read it wrong. Maybe my heart was wishing something that was never there to begin with... If only I never saw it. If only I never felt it. Then maybe I would never wish to watch the stars at night as they dance with clouds and sing with the moon. I could only wish but never have. If only I was not blind to see what was there to begin with, maybe I would not have listened to the lies that would make me fall into a bottomless pool of sadness and pain. I could only have what ifs and maybes, but no definite answer. I just wish I find the answer soon, before I am thrown into despair.

If there was one thing I could rewind with what's happening to me now, it's not knowing this one person: my current supervisor. I was perfectly fine where I was and all of a sudden I was thrust and yanked out from my spot. I think the main reason why, was because my current supervisor is a pain in the butt (aside from obtaining a new gadget that he doesn't really deserve, not that I am sour graping about it). Which I have proven, time and time again. He's a walking biatch and a walking (well, words are not enough to express how much I hate this person). If only this person could turn into an animal, how I wish it would be a cockroach I could smash into a million pieces in between my shoes and the floor. But for now, I will just chant my mantra: "Another day, another disappointment..."

I was soaking up the sights while we were cruising down the busy streets of the metropolis, when someone interrupted my thoughts. It was someone I was hating for quite sometime (well hate is such a strong term, maybe less like-able which was true in general). "It" began on asking me about my current non-existent love life. "It" said, that I was looking for love, not love finding me. To begin with, I never looked for it (though some may mistake me for doing so since I am mostly with guys during weekends due to a weekly Football game), since I never I really saw myself as someone as pretty as the girl you see on billboards or ads for that matter, I am not as brainy like some, nor am I as thin (though I play sports) like models walking down the runway. Although I believe that life without love is not life at all, I also believed in if you're meant to be, no matter how far he may be from you, then you'll most likely end up together, if you were meant.... Like I ...

The sky was pitch-black, There was nothing to see. Solace begins to embrace me, Blood begins to fall from my eyes and onto the ground, wasted. unforgiven. The ground opens and eats me in one big bite, Taking my soul along with it. I see the blood of my enemy, slowly dripping to nothing. Time is on a standstill. Each tick represents your life. a life is taken. another reborn. A man is on a table, wating to die. His body festered with wounds, licked by the maggots. Flesh melting away, bones disentegrating. Eyes gouged out. The book of the dead brings back life, and the book of the living takes life away.

I see the sky turn dark and the moon is rising on the western horizon. There are two flags, one is black, the other a shade of blue-green. It was flying against each other, and the black was torn into pieces. I see flames shooting out from someone else's palms, and the other pair of hands I see has ice shooting out. I did not see who they were, all I know, was that I was hit by the ice and the hands whose palms were shooting flames, carried me up to the skies and kissed me. I woke up to find myself wearing a white gown and a ring on the ring finger of my left hand. We kissed and everything turned black. As I opened my eyes, I was in front of my computer. What happened?

Dear Noah, I am writing to you, not because I have to, but I need to. In my heart there are so many things I wanted to tell you but my lips are frozen, and I could only whisper those words in this letter that I am writing. I know you will never get tired of me saying this, but, I have never regretted my decision of coming back to see you after so long. I missed our long talks, the way you teach me how to speak in another language through your poems. But what I really miss, is how you say hi and ask how am I. Everyone asked me, especially the ones who were close to me, why I came back to you, instead of going with the other? I never explained. Simply because, they would never understand, that the feelings between us were special. They would always think of our past as a memory of a time spent together. But to me, it will always be special. I have always dreamed of our time together as perfect. People may say, that I have wasted my time, going back and looking back at a love once lost....

The grass surrounding me were slowly dying. It was the beginning of a barren wasteland. But as I slowly walk amongst the grassland that surrounded me, I felt a racking pain on my lower back. It was so painful that I could not move. I began seeing darkness. Everything around me was turning black. The grass so green, turned into gray. The sky that held the clouds and the sun, was turning into gray. I slowly fell towards the earth. As I was about to close my eyes, for the last time, someone held my hand. He looked towards the sky, and carried me up towards the heavens. Upon reaching the skies, I awoke. He held my hand and inserted a ring on my ring finger on the left hand. I looked at my clothes, and instead of denim, shirt and rubber shoes, I was wearing a long white gown instead. I was also wearing white shoes. But my eyes, they were the color green. I looked into his eyes and then we kissed... I opened my eyes again and I was staring at my computer terminal. What happened?