journey on dark waters

Maybe I was wrong. I may have read it wrong. Maybe my heart was wishing something that was never there to begin with... If only I never saw it. If only I never felt it. Then maybe I would never wish to watch the stars at night as they dance with clouds and sing with the moon. I could only wish but never have. If only I was not blind to see what was there to begin with, maybe I would not have listened to the lies that would make me fall into a bottomless pool of sadness and pain. I could only have what ifs and maybes, but no definite answer. I just wish I find the answer soon, before I am thrown into despair.

If there was one thing I could rewind with what's happening to me now, it's not knowing this one person: my current supervisor. I was perfectly fine where I was and all of a sudden I was thrust and yanked out from my spot. I think the main reason why, was because my current supervisor is a pain in the butt (aside from obtaining a new gadget that he doesn't really deserve, not that I am sour graping about it). Which I have proven, time and time again. He's a walking biatch and a walking (well, words are not enough to express how much I hate this person). If only this person could turn into an animal, how I wish it would be a cockroach I could smash into a million pieces in between my shoes and the floor. But for now, I will just chant my mantra: "Another day, another disappointment..."

I was soaking up the sights while we were cruising down the busy streets of the metropolis, when someone interrupted my thoughts. It was someone I was hating for quite sometime (well hate is such a strong term, maybe less like-able which was true in general). "It" began on asking me about my current non-existent love life. "It" said, that I was looking for love, not love finding me. To begin with, I never looked for it (though some may mistake me for doing so since I am mostly with guys during weekends due to a weekly Football game), since I never I really saw myself as someone as pretty as the girl you see on billboards or ads for that matter, I am not as brainy like some, nor am I as thin (though I play sports) like models walking down the runway. Although I believe that life without love is not life at all, I also believed in if you're meant to be, no matter how far he may be from you, then you'll most likely end up together, if you were meant.... Like I ...